Summer's beginning to Festival goings

With the arrival of Spring comes the beginning of true uncut happiness. Festivals are to me as BBQ and weekend grandmother visits are to others growing up. All winter long I work HARD and diligently so I can afford to take off time to go "home" again. Being an immigrant and not having the close family ties and reunions that many, many others around me have often left me with much sadness and a need to belong somewhere. My first festival, Phish, was an eye-opening experience where I finally felt the release of the true self. No other place, except maybe climbing a mountain top or seeing a live show has made me feel at ease to be ME!

My first "rodeo" this year was Strangecreek in Greenfield, MA. And even though I contracted Poison Ivy (which I am extremely allergic to) I had an amazing fairy tale plane of existence that sent me soaring beyond any imagination possible. I truly believed between Max Creek's jamming play to Bumblebees and late night/early morning hardcore raves that I was home again. Being filled with such emotion that brought me to tears of pure raw happiness where I felt an out of body experience and I was in the land of my fantasies; the true reality and NOT this material mundane struggle for false securities and power! POWER! I can only laugh now!

As I walk the streets after this liberating time, I find it sad, but all together silly that people walk around with such misery in a land that provides them with ample comforts. The frowning stares and the traffic jam rushes only fuel my great desire to let go of my struggle within myself to "fix" society and to instead enter my own plane of existence with like-minded individuals who see the world as what it can be and not for what it is.

So with this I say PEACE! and much LOVE! See you on the trail!

The only place that I truly feel free, happy is on the mountain top...the journey up, the struggle for each agonizing step which pushes me further hoping all the time that the next turn will lead to the top, unable to even rest for a moment, feeling the height just before you. The intensity that one feels surpasses all expectations that only the philosophized jam/funk could compare. The Truth. The Peace. The BE! to BE me and ONLY me!

winter's sweet release...

Who played this trick, Mr. Jack Kerovac

"Who played this cruel joke, on bloke after bloke, packing like a rat, across the desert flat? Was it God got mad, like the Indian clad, who was only a giver, crooked like the river? Gave you a garden, let it all harden, then comes the flood, and the loss of your blood? Pray tell us, good buddy, and don't make it muddy, who played this trick, on Harry and Dick, and why is so mean, this Eternal Scene, just what's the point, of this whole joint?" DHARMA BUMS- Jack Kerovac

Cutting out
Significant resources of false securities
Promises non existence flowing honesty
Thunderous hopes of fallen prayers
Beyond my own
Independent formations of undying contemplations
Truth of individualistic ideologies
Spelling grammar foundations
Complete inconsistent devices
Of unbelievable creations
The lose of hungers carpenters manifestations
Trains complete broken rhythms of annihilation's
Searching for World's True lovely hearts composing
For this I am
For this I fall
For always
For me
For I
For ALL!

moment

Try as I may I do understand why people walk alone. There is great freedom in solitude, experience of existence through a moment. To be alone in the wild is to BE...why does it take tragedy for us to realize what penetrates us. If you want something in life, reach out and grab it! I hope you do what you want to do, what makes you happy. Real world when shared. Experienced, differently. peace:)

Okay so this is a quote from one of my favorite musicals: HAIR
and I ask, as I sit here this:


All the clouds are cumuloft;
Walking in space;
Oh my God your skin is soft;
I love your face;
How dare they try to end this beauty?;
How dare they try to end this beauty?;
To keep us under foot;
They bury us in soot;
Pretending it's a chore;
To ship us off to war;
In this dive;
We rediscover sensation;
In this dive;
We rediscover sensation;
Walking in space;
We find the purpose of peace;
The beauty of life;
You can no longer hide;
Our eyes are open;
Our eyes are open;
Our eyes are open;
Our eyes are open;
Wide wide wide!"

AND:


"Our space songs on a spider web sitar;
Life is around you and in you;
Answer for Timothy Leary, dearie;
Let the sunshine;
Let the sunshine in;
The sunshine in;
Let the sunshine"

I guess the thing that is hard for me to understand is that common sense tells us the atrocities of WAR...the cause and effect of reality that we create around us. If this is so, why is it that so many come back and seek to understand such sorrow, and unnecessary pain? Isn't it common sense that WAR=LOSE?

This past Saturday night my friends and I decided to go to Sweetwaters for dinner....the sitting taking awhile "forced" us to wait...and so smiling to myself, not letting my friends "know" that I was happy for this turn of events, that fate would allow me to have them see the latest "art on display" at the Firehouse gallery downtown church street...there we saw simplistic and raw art at it's best. The four artists portrayed various current spending of the "Almighty dollar" in our ever continuous need for Super power over this mundane material existence. One artist approached me and let me know not only of a workshop of participates working with pulp, raw paper, but of a woman that used the very thing to protect her from this fruitless domination as a work of art...the paradox between the body armor and the Manuel of the US army brought me to tears...of complete and under confusion. The reality that what I see as common sense others see as effect....

Belief in a free flow of information....libraries/internet

If you suffer your people to be ill-eduated and their manners corrupt from infancy and then punish them for those crimes to which their first education disposed them what is to be concluded that you first make thevies and then punish them.

Raven in flight...do i dare ask and dream? yet again i let my instincts guide me through all possibilities and facets of pure realities. For who I am is who you see...but not who I truly am.

Cute! Laughing, smiling, dreaming, hoping, realizing, flowing...letting it go...solitude, cooperation, interminglness...music, beats, sounds, drumming, bass....rhthyms of intercities, fallen words of misspelled thoughts, so I am. I think subconciously in Czech. I speak in American. I write in my own...hmmmmm. So I am. Take flight. Journey on. Lost. Searching again. Letting it all just go! Be me. Alone. FREE. just FREE. just ME! To be me is to be free. To be with you, is to be me. You are my "Cort". And I am that paradox. For I am what you dream. The dream, the illusion is the question of all sublimity. So fall on through. The Klones of everyday mundaness....my language is my own. As these words are forever a continious overflow of emotion. Of thoughts beyond simple prayer. Organized religions of baptismal Catholisim, Buddhism, Taoism, Tantra...labels. Always defining as to create some answe to questions. I'd rather question for all eternity than to find absolute truth. I find comfort in the FACT there is NO absolute truth to all that I feel, all I experience....so nice! So FREE! So ME! peace:)

Confusing understanding of hopes contemplations
Dragging into a distance of fallen wanderings
Often created false desires
Of wanting passions
Continuously searching through a brume's awakening
Try as I may to falsify complete drags of true awareness
Only to find my heart's once again activations
Through what facet of medium am I to deliver
For what intendment are my true selves deserving
I ask only that for which I find calling
To possibly alleviate some harrowing annihilation
As if I may have any ascendancy
Through this rude edification
Try again

No Title

Creation of some being
Contemplating and collapsing thru division
Labeling indestructive tones of anniliation
Fallen dimensions of postive counter-reactions
Of material waste and enlightenment
No one runs away from the fortress
Complete with counting rythm of differental crimes
Flipping through the divide of countless dimes
Constantly creating only to be destroying
Waste all that is wanted
Wanted all that is waste
Preparing for some time